A good friend of mine recently made the following observation, which struck me as being very true: love is how you treat a person, not a feeling. This struck home because it fits with something I’ve come to see, i.e. that what matters most is not a person’s motivation or beliefs, but instead the impact of their behaviour on others. From that simple, but profound, observation of my friend stem further thoughts. For example. people often confuse love with need, need leads to giving with the condition of return, to jealousy, which are selfish things, which are surely the antithesis of love, as love involves unconditional giving and affection. The observation also undermines the idea of love at first sight, which is all about feeling. How much would you sacrifice for somebody you have just met, regardless of how infatuated you might be?
That leads to what I might grandiosely term the second pillar of love. To me, love fundamentally involves accepting somebody completely, to accept what may annoy and frustrate you as well as what brings you joy and comfort. How you can you claim to love that which you do not know? Thus, there is a second reason to relegate love at first sight to infatuation.
If to accept someone,warts and all is fundamental to love, it brings a tension I am still struggling with.The perfect partner does not exist, and so you must accept the person you love has flaws, or even just differences in values and how they perceive the world. My problem is this: at what point does the inevitability of acceptance and compromise in a loving relationship tip into the person you may have great affection for not being right for you, and vice versa, and you should regretfully walk away, a little wsier?
Theresa May’s satnav is a very simple device, it simply says ‘Turn right, turn right and keep on turning right until you arrive at the Third Reich’. Whilst we’re on the topic, I don’t think making companies list foreign workers goes far enough. Foreigners should wear some form of a symbol on their clothes so that we can shun them on the street, as is the duty of any good patriot. Maybe a yellow star, as seen on the EU flag… C’mon everybody, let’s party like it’s 1933!
A free TT training guide from a World Class rider, what’s not to like?
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.
From The Stolen Child by WB Yeats. Today was going to be sad enough, being the day on which Jo Cox’s funeral is held, but with the sad, sad news from France this poem seems all the more apposite.
When will the futile bloodshed ever end? We can be such a vile species sometimes …
Nice truck attack: France mourns again after 84 killed in Bastille day atrocity
Now that I’ve peace at last / Tell me Jesus / Will it last?
After not too many miles on the bike, my legs tend to ask ‘Will there be cake?’ Whilst Jens Voigt’s response might be ‘Shut up legs!’, I’m more inclined to say ‘What a great idea, there’s a cafe just down the road’.
This lyric, from This Blue World by Elbow, sums up perfectly for me the bond that remains, even after my marriage is dead and buried.
While three chambers of my heart
Beat strong and true with love for another
The fourth, the fourth, is yours forever
I wish I had a thousandth of Guy Garvey’s talent as a songwriter.
Something to bring a smile to your face, Blue Monday covered using 1930s tech. The concept is larky, but there is some great musicianship as well. Does anyone know what the purpose of the horns on the bass drum might be?